Between solitude and surrounded

If you look at the photos I make, you notice something. There’s rarely any people in them.

I seek solitude by nature. I tend to prefer to spend time where people are not. And even when I find myself around people I sometimes frame them out of my shots. It’s my version of idealizing a place.

In the case of shooting at Boston Mine, it was exasperation. I would frame a shot, and another person would step right in to the middle of it or right in front of me with their cell phone. I got a number of shots of the backs of people’s heads that day. I was infuriated.

To borrow a quote from Bukowski, I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they’re not around.

There are exceptions, obviously. My beloved.  A few friends. Fewer acquaintances. But by and large, I prefer mostly solitude. Sometimes I can accomplish it. More frequently I just wish for it.

It wasn’t always the case. There were times I was deathly afraid of being alone in the woods. It wasn’t something I had to actually work on, or a goal that I set for myself to try to get over it, it just happened over time. Walking alone in the woods doesn’t bother me nearly as much now.

It's always the last shot on the roll you get the image you were looking for. In this case it was the one past that. Still works, though.
It’s always the last shot on the roll you get the image you were looking for. In this case it was the one past that. Still works, though.

But I prefer to be with my beloved. I enjoy her company. I like being with her while we discover things together. I love her and simply being with her makes me happy. And sometimes, you do need other folks with you.

There have been times when I was definitely not feeling well that Steph has been a godsend. Times when I needed her company to help me along and prevent me from making errors in judgment.

So here’s the area I want and need to be in. Somewhere between solitude and surrounded. Somewhere between lost and found.

I’m still working out how to find that spot more often.

Be First to Comment

talk to me