If you look at the photos I make, you notice something. There’s rarely any people in them.
I seek solitude by nature. I tend to prefer to spend time where people are not. And even when I find myself around people I sometimes frame them out of my shots. It’s my version of idealizing a place.
In the case of shooting at Boston Mine, it was exasperation. I would frame a shot, and another person would step right in to the middle of it or right in front of me with their cell phone. I got a number of shots of the backs of people’s heads that day. I was infuriated.
To borrow a quote from Bukowski, I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they’re not around.
There are exceptions, obviously. My beloved. A few friends. Fewer acquaintances. But by and large, I prefer mostly solitude. Sometimes I can accomplish it. More frequently I just wish for it.
It wasn’t always the case. There were times I was deathly afraid of being alone in the woods. It wasn’t something I had to actually work on, or a goal that I set for myself to try to get over it, it just happened over time. Walking alone in the woods doesn’t bother me nearly as much now.
But I prefer to be with my beloved. I enjoy her company. I like being with her while we discover things together. I love her and simply being with her makes me happy. And sometimes, you do need other folks with you.
There have been times when I was definitely not feeling well that Steph has been a godsend. Times when I needed her company to help me along and prevent me from making errors in judgment.
So here’s the area I want and need to be in. Somewhere between solitude and surrounded. Somewhere between lost and found.
I’m still working out how to find that spot more often.